WriteLab's Response to Betsy Devos's Speech on Education
In 2015, Betsy Devos spoke at SXSW, where she explained her views about education. We ran that speech through WriteLab. Here are the highlights.
Devos: The truth is that each and every child deserves the opportunity to fully develop their potential, and collectively, our country will not be competitive unless all kids have opportunity.
WriteLab: You could condense your sentence by deleting The truth is that.
Devos: Government tends to favor one size fits all solutions handed down from central command.
WriteLab: Many people have said something similar to this. How might you present this idea in a new way?
Devos: And as we know, too many politicians and too many leaders from within the education system oppose education choice, but they use it for their own families.
WriteLab: How do many politicians oppose education choice?
Devos: As long as we think political parties might solve the problem, it will never be solved.
WriteLab: Who will solve it?
Devos: Meanwhile, America falls further behind, too many kids are denied an opportunity, too many kids get substandard educations, the status quo remains, change is thwarted, and everyone loses.
WriteLab: Instead of using the passive voice with too many kids are denied an opportunity, try converting your verb into the active voice by specifying who denies too many kids an opportunity.
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